I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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