I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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