Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
