you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
