Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
