Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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