I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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