she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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