OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize