who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
