I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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