Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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