I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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