Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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