Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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