So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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