Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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