It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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