Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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