She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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