He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
