Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
