I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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