you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
