george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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