I have demons in me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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