They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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