The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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