Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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