oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
