we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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