why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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