i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
