Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
