Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
