When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
