He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
