More tranny stories later!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
