used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
