Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize