dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this just has baby written all over it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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