I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
