I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
sex in a hospital.. check
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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