i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
