Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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