I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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