I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
