so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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