I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
