My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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