She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
