i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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