so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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