Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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