Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
