A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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