I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
